In our journey of compassion that we've been exploring, today I wanted to take another leg with that and look at self-compassion. And I think of self-compassion as the care or kindness that we extend ourselves in the face of pain, suffering, stress. And to nurture along self-compassion, there are a number of different techniques or methods that we can do to help on the internal front. So today I want to try some of those out with you.

However, what I've seen in my own life and in the lives of many others is that sometimes the biggest movement of self-compassion doesn't come through some inner method, but through addressing imbalances in our life. I want to even just throw out some general categories that imbalances tend to show up, and maybe you can identify some for yourself. Sleep, diet, movement, rest, play, meaningful social activity, screen time, purposeful activity.

That's just a short list. We could go on and on. But sometimes what we find is something like there's one real imbalance that tends to cause us a lot of suffering and have a cascade effect. Like I spend hours and hours a day of frivolous activity on the internet. And then I stay up too late, and I don't sleep so well. Then the next day, I feel kind of icky.

So I load up on sugar and caffeine. And then I don't feel like exercising or meditating because I'm all jumbled. And then I'm off emotionally, so I don't want to socialize. So then I might as well just spend more time on the internet. And it's a vicious cycle. And so sometimes it's just how do I break that cycle? That's really the big movement of self-compassion. and to name these sources of imbalance is not to hand the reins of our life over to our inner perfectionist and our inner critic who now wants to maximize everything.

It's just, hey, are there some really gross level imbalances in my life, and can I start to look at those, maybe even just naming it, kind of being honest with myself, put a little bit of energy there, do it in a gentle way, a caring way. That's a tremendous act of self-compassion. But even if we're totally in the muck of it, we're right in that heart of the cycle I just described, or any number of other situations of stress and suffering that us humans face, sometimes it's just hard to say, I don't know, break the cycle, it's whatever, I'm just hearing the pain.

And it could be very mundane, it could just be going through day a day as usual, and the voice in the mind just won't stop. There's just a heaviness in our heart. So right here, it's just suffering. Oh, this is it. This is the thing the Buddha's pointing to as the first noble truth, not the first depressing truth, the first noble truth, as if to say, when we can see it in a new light, there's something new that's possible.

And so some of the self-compassion methods are really helpful for this, really helpful to allow ourselves to actually meet it, to be on that path of quote-unquote nobility or just ease. Maybe that's a better way to put it. I've shared this many times before. It really hits every time for me, but a working metaphor I like is that if you have some kind of suffering in your life, self-compassion, it's sort of like aloe vera on a burn.

And that if you've ever had a burn and put aloe vera on it, you know, the burn doesn't just magically disappear, but it does provide a soothing quality. It's like, oh, something in my whole nervous system just settles a little bit. I'm a little more soothed. And now that I have a bit more ease, I'm more capable of addressing it if it needs to be addressed or just having some kind of balance.

And so self-compassion is like this. It provides a soothing effect to our nervous system, our heart, our mind. It gives us some inner reservoir of ease and care and tenderness. And from there, we're more equipped to maybe address some of those imbalances or just more equipped to be with it. Maybe there's nothing to do. And so with that as a backdrop, there's three methods I want to explore together.

And we'll see if we have time for this, but I just wanted to give you a little mini taste of each of these. And so we're going to try this out. And to begin with, just to shift out of the conventional mind, I want to invite you to again, take another deep breath or two, Just let your whole body and mind relax, soften.

And the first method is called loving touch. And it's helpful with this to imagine that you are a performer in a theater play. And you're really believing, really trying on this role that this loving touch is a movement of care and compassion. That this loving touch we're about to offer ourselves says, hey, I'm here and I care.

And so slipping into that reality, I'd invite you to take your hand and place it on your heart and come in to feel the sense of contact, the way the different parts of the hand touch the chest, the tingling, the pulsing, maybe temperature.

This is a movement of really getting in touch with your humanity, that you're in this fragile mammalian body. Here you are with this hand, this real tangible contact that says, I care and I'm here with you.

Just let yourself sink into that, soften into that care. If you want to try some other place of contact, maybe a hand on your cheek, maybe a bear hug, give yourself some other spontaneous movement of touch that says, I care and I'm here with you. And then to pivot, I'm going to bring in the self-compassion phrases where we merge mindfulness, wise view, and kindness. So you can attune to something challenging you're going through.

It could be in this very moment, something physical or emotional that's present. It could be more broadly in your life, some difficulty. So just having that in mind, whatever difficulty is alive.

Firstly, just take a moment to register that it's real. Okay, this is happening. This is a real difficulty. Whether different feelings arise, sadness, anger, despair, maybe neutrality, doesn't matter. This is it. Here it is, suffering.

And then there's a set of phrases I want to invite you to offer to yourself. This is a moment of suffering, part of being human. We all go through it.

May I be kind to myself. Just speaking with sincerity, this is a moment of suffering. It's part of being human. We all go through it. May I be kind to myself. Just repeat that a few times to yourself. Then you can drop those phrases, allowing yourself to breathe.

Try out the final little mini technique you could think of as just self-talk. I like to call it motherly self-soothing, where you speak to yourself more organically, as if you were talking to a dear friend, going through something hard, channeling that part of you, even if it's just 1% there, that holds deep compassion, deep wisdom. So for me, if I think about the hard thing I'm going through, and I offer this to myself, might sound something like, it's okay, buddy, you're doing all right.

Life has its ups and downs, and this'll pass. just another wave. I love you, David. And so in your own version, just take a moment to offer yourself some really kind words, some motherly self-soothing for whatever you're going through. And then you can drop those words as we transition into the quiet time. These three techniques, loving touch, self-compassion phrases, motherly self-soothing. If any of these three are interesting to you, you could keep them going.

You could also just rest in the quiet and caring environment they've created. If specifically you're drawn to the phrases, I'll put a guided meditation in the chat you could try out today. But in any case, I invite you to stay in this current of care, whatever that looks like for you. We'll see you in a little bit.