So in the few weeks we've spent on compassion, we've covered quite a wide terrain, and starting to come to the end of that Brahmavihāra, I was thinking of some ways to simplify, summarize, and today wanted to look a little bit at methods, and presented quite a number of different approaches and techniques, different ways of using phrases or words, maybe a single line, maybe four sets of lines, ways with ourself we might use loving touch or just organic well-wishes, the way we might use different contemplations like the five remembrances, the ways we might express compassion through our actions, actually helping out or doing something.

And when I really get to the core of it, what seems to me to be the key and what's presented in these teachings as the proximate cause is can we get to the point where when we perceive suffering in ourself, in others, in an animal, in an insect, where there's a perception of suffering and the natural response is care, like that. That to me seems like the whole point of compassion training, compassion meditation, where it's like, oh, this is a suffering being.

This is a suffering moment. And what comes out is care. The wish for, oh, I don't want that for you. That seems painful. I get it. No pain. Maybe you're the one feeling it right now. And it's like, oh, yeah, I really get it. This is hard. And it's so simple in a way. Perceive suffering, respond with care. And yet, suffering is hard. It doesn't feel good.

We're wired to want to get away from what doesn't feel good. And part of this process of training is really getting familiar with all the ways we run from that. We ignore it, we try to fix it, figure it out, criticize the one suffering or the one responsible for the suffering, deny it, take it personally, blame someone, have a sense of pity, or just get swallowed by it.

And typically, when we're not really mindful or haven't been doing a lot of this kind of training. When suffering arises, it's just an autopilot dominoes process. Okay, suffering is perceived on some autopilot level, and then boom, right into my age-old reaction. You know, somewhat recently, someone started having a sneeze attack, just sneezing, sneezing, sneezing. Maybe you've been around someone who's had a sneeze attack. Maybe you've had a sneeze attack at some point and what i noticed was the first reaction in my mind maybe not the first one but when it was not just a sneeze but a sneeze attack my mind went to right away stop making that noise that's annoying and then you know right thereafter it's like oh that's an interesting reaction this is kind of annoying i've had sneeze attacks before and it doesn't feel good why does my mind go to this person is making a noise that's bothering me instead of wow this person is having a hard human experience.

And so part of the process of this is we catch our immediate conditioned reactions. And we don't need to hate ourselves for that or think we shouldn't have that. We just see it. And when we see it, we have the chance to shift from autopilot to compassion. And that's really the key pivot of Dharma practice. Not swat it away because it's bad. You see it and you pivot.

Similarly, I recently heard someone share, overheard a conversation, someone shared they had early stage cancer. And the first response from the other individual was, have you tried juice fasting? That was interesting. I'm sure juice fasting isn't a bad idea, but there wasn't the movement of care. And we can hear that and be like, oh, that's so terrible. But how often are we presented with suffering in a minor form, a medium form, a big form.

And out of some genuine good intention, we're like, hey, I want to help out. And we just jump right to the helping out and skip the part about really contacting and feeling this is another being having a hard experience. And so again, this is where compassion training, the heart training really starts to change things. We can maybe even begin to see that impulse I want to fix and say, oh, wait a minute, just pause a moment.

Hey, I see you. I'm sorry to hear that. And maybe we still share about the juice fasting, as seems appropriate. Maybe they're looking for feedback or advice, but maybe they just want someone to hug them. And then, oh, that's the medicine they needed. And when we're responsive and open, well, we can give that. More broadly, this is maybe obvious to some of you in the undertones here, I found that the vipassanā insight practice and the heart practices really go quite well together.

Going back to a simple example like the sneeze attack, the vipassanā practice is really effective at not getting involved with all those critical thoughts or autopilot reactions. It really trains us for they arise, we see them, don't take them personally, let them go on their way. It's a muscle we build. To see someone with the cancer diagnosis. And oftentimes the urge to fix it is born of our own suffering of being what they're suffering.

Like, oh, this isn't comfortable for me or for you. Let's try to fix it. And so the Vipassanā practice lets us just be there. Oh yeah, some discomfort has arisen. The urge to fix it has arisen. We can see that and just give that a moment to marinate. Oh yeah, this is nature.

And so to put it more simply, the Vipassanā practice is really effective at pulling us out of autopilot, at pulling us out of our default reactions. And then the heart practice, as the tag team partner, is really effective at strengthening the new neural pathway, the new default response. Or what is it to actually meet someone with care? The first step of this process is often just simple recognition.

I see you. Yeah, this is hard. This is a suffering moment. to just slow down and pause with the recognition. And so in teaching compassion or loving kindness, and those of you who've been coming most days will probably see this kind of through the lines. I try to walk this balance where, on one hand, I don't want to reduce compassion or loving kindness to a technique. Like, okay, here is the set of phrases, do this, and you'll be a compassionate person.

But I also don't want to present it so loosely that you have nothing to sink your teeth into, and it just becomes a bunch of good thoughts.

And so how do we find that middle way? I start with that analogy I've used quite a bit of thinking of these heart qualities, or really any quality, but specifically here, compassion, loving kindness, as like a radio station frequency. And how do we attune to that frequency of being to get ourselves into that current and see these different techniques, these phrases, they help pull us into that frequency where we're with this person with the sneeze attack or the cancer diagnosis or whatever it is and we're in that frequency of oh one I see you yeah I get it two to have some kind of recognition like this this isn't a mistake this is reality this is life it's here everyone goes through this at some point or another and three just that movement of care movement of compassion.

And so that frequency, it starts to become like a bundle, like it's all bundled together. When you get yourself in the frequency, all of that stuff tends to flow as a unit.

So how to be in that frequency? One set of phrases I've used quite a lot, just I spent a lot of time with Kristin Neff's formulation of self-compassion and just adapted it to others. Just this is a moment of suffering. We all go through it. I hold you with care and compassion. This is a moment of suffering. We all go through it. I hold you with care and compassion.

Over the course of these weeks, I've presented a whole slew of other methods or other phrases, partly because what I found with different minds is if there's a big enough group, someone's always going to have some resistance to some formulation of phrases. Like that one isn't quite good enough for me. It rubs me this way. And then I do a different set of phrases and someone says, wow, these really hit.

but then the other person was like, no, that wasn't the one. And part of this is just to say the particular phrases is totally irrelevant. It really doesn't matter. It's just what brings you into that frequency. Maybe for some of you, it's not even a particular set of phrases. Maybe even just these reflections like, oh, we're all of the nature to pass away. All of us experience ups and downs.

This is human life. Maybe that's it for you. But what I want to propose today, you know, was thinking about, well, how can we really simplify this? I love simplifying for myself. And again, it's just what gets us into that frequency? What is the first step? And the first step is perceptual, to actually just take in, this is a suffering being, or this is a suffering moment.

And what I've found, and maybe this is some of the product of having done these sort of practices, but if I can just do that step, the rest tends to follow. And so what is it to sit with the single phrase, this is a suffering being. To look at this Zoom screen, it's like, oh, this is a lot of suffering beings. And there's a part of the mind that inevitably doesn't like that.

It's like, I don't know, it's too dark, it's too limited. Well, that's really interesting data. There's a part of our mind that really doesn't want to engage with that perception that these are suffering beings. And maybe there's some fear it will pull us into a dark, depressive place that we've been to before. It's, you know, quite legitimate, quite valid, but we see that. And so you could add a second line.

I hold you with care and compassion. This is a suffering being. I hold you with care and compassion. You could even just reduce it to a single word, just suffering. Like what's the simplest version that brings you into that frequency? Go with that. Eventually it becomes wordless. You just see suffering and the heart responds in that way, whether you're mindful or not. So anyhow, this morning, practicing with the simplest way to bring ourselves into compassion, care, the willingness to meet suffering.

And as just a default, simple entry point, this is a suffering being, or this is a suffering moment, though we can play with it from there. I'll see you in a little bit.